


Winter Wonderland

by KalKira



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-03
Updated: 2008-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-17 16:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalKira/pseuds/KalKira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"This," Malik says with a glare and a shiver, "is completely insane." He sneezes again, and pulls his second scarf tighter around his neck. "No sane human," he hisses, "would ever willingly tolerate these conditions."</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Snowball Fight

**Author's Note:**

> "This," Malik says with a glare and a shiver, "is completely insane." He sneezes again, and pulls his second scarf tighter around his neck. "No sane human," he hisses, "would ever willingly tolerate these conditions."

"This," Malik says with a glare and a shiver, "is completely insane." He sneezes again, and pulls his second scarf tighter around his neck. "No sane human," he hisses, "would ever willingly tolerate these conditions."

"Stop being such a whiny bitch." Bakura grins and tugs on Malik's hat. It's lavender, of course, and has a bobble on the top. "A little bit of snow won't kill you."

Obscene gestures really don't work as well when one's hands are completely enclosed in bright pink mittens. "I hate you. A lot." Malik sneezes again. "And this stupid weather. And this stupid country. And everything. I can't feel my nose."

"Oh, cheer up," Bakura says with a smirk. "Come on, let's go throw snowballs at the Pharaoh."

"And then I'll be cold and _dead_ ," Malik says with a sniffle. "No thank you. Bastard."

"No you won't." Bakura's fangs glint. "It's a game here. Normal people do it for fun. Yugi will probably even encourage us."

"Snow is awesome," Malik says reverently.


	2. Snow War Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Malik stands in the entryway, dripping and shivering. "I," he pronounces with grim finality, "will _never be warm again_." His face is a mask of tragedy and suffering, leaving no doubt that, although this is a terrible fate indeed, he will do his best to bear it with dignity.

Malik stands in the entryway, dripping and shivering. "I," he pronounces with grim finality, "will _never be warm again_." His face is a mask of tragedy and suffering, leaving no doubt that, although this is a terrible fate indeed, he will do his best to bear it with dignity.

Bakura has the gall to snicker."Drama queen," he says fondly, as Malik turns his most fearsome glare on him. "Go get out of your wet clothes and you'll be fine." Malik growls and stomps off. Bakura contemplates following for a minute, then goes and starts a fire in the fireplace instead. After hearing the swearing coming from the bedroom as Malik struggles with his waterlogged jeans, Bakura puts on the kettle for hot chocolate as well. By itself, it won't do much, but Bakura's sure he'll be able to find _something_ to spike it with. They probably have a bottle of absinthe or something left, at least.

When Bakura goes back to the living room, carrying two mugs of spiked hot chocolate, he finds Malik curled up in front of the fire, buried under three blankets. The top one is pink. Bakura weighs retaining what's left of his dignity against getting laid tonight, and reluctantly decides in favor of the latter. He gently kicks Malik's side. "You'll warm up faster if we share body heat."

"I hate you forever," Malik grumbles, but pulls apart the blankets enough that Bakura can curl up behind him. He takes the mug of hot chocolate offered, and drains half of it in one gulp. "Gah. What the hell did you put in that?"

"Dunno," Bakura says. "The bottle wasn't labeled. It smelled better than the absinthe, though." He shifts a little so that Malik is resting against his chest and more covered by the blankets. Bakura will never ever say so out loud, but he's just a little bit worried by how cold Malik's skin still seems to be. "Feeling better?"

"I think I burnt my tongue," Malik says, and gulps down the rest of his cocoa.

"Want me to kiss it better?" Bakura asks with a small leer. Malik bites his wrist and steals his hot chocolate. Soon that mug is empty too, and Malik is dozing against Bakura's chest. Bakura leans back against the couch. He'll just close his eyes for a minute, he decides, and then he'll drag Malik off to bed.

When they wake up, the fire has gone out, but they're both perfectly warm.


	3. Tree Hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Why are we here?" Bakura growls, glaring around the lot in distaste. The scent of pine is heavy in the air, due to the many trees they are surrounded by.

"Why are we here?" Bakura growls, glaring around the lot in distaste. The scent of pine is heavy in the air, due to the many trees they are surrounded by.

Malik shrugs and pulls his hat further down over his ears. "Yugi thinks it will be good for us, or something." He rolls his eyes.

"Why did we agree?" Bakura asks. "Actually, why did you agree? No one ever asked me. Bastard." He kicks out at Malik, who is wearing too many layers to be able to dodge.

"Because I knew you'd say no," Malik says. "If we're here, the Pharaoh is annoyed, but Yugi is happy, so we're safe. If we aren't here, the Pharaoh is annoyed because Yugi isn't happy, and then we're dead."

"True," Bakura says. "You're still a bastard." Malik smirks.

"Plus, if we stay out here a little longer, I can fake hypothermia and then tell Yugi we need to share body heat to warm me up." Malik snickers. "I wanna see if I can give the Pharaoh an actual heart attack."

"Oi, Malik!" Jounouchi calls. "C'mere! We need help carrying the tree!"


	4. Christmas Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yugi stares at the plate in his hand for several moments after the door has closed. It doesn't look suspicious, or rather, it wouldn't if he didn't know where it came from. The cookies themselves are a bit odd, perhaps-he didn't know they even made cookie cutters shaped like knives, for one thing-but they don't scream "creation of pure evil," either.

Yugi stares at the plate in his hand for several moments after the door has closed. It doesn't look suspicious, or rather, it wouldn't if he didn't know where it came from. The cookies themselves are a bit odd, perhaps-he didn't know they even made cookie cutters shaped like knives, for one thing-but they don't scream "creation of pure evil," either.

It's a bit sad, Yugi thinks, how good he's gotten at discerning that sort of thing over the past few years.

"Ryou?" he calls after a moment's thought.

"Yes?" Ryou says from upstairs. "Who was at the door?"

"Malik and your yami," Yugi answers, glad again that Yami is out shopping on the other side of town. "Do you have any idea why they'd bring us cookies?"

"No," Ryou says after a pause that's just a little too long for comfort. "I mean, they did promise not to try and kill us anymore." He appears at the foot of the stairs, hair still damp from his shower, and Yugi takes a moment to appreciate exactly how hot his boyfriend is. "Maybe they're trying to be nice?"

He looks so hopeful that Yugi can't bring himself to disagree. "Maybe," he says. Very privately, he thinks it's more likely some kind of psychological warfare, and picks up a cookie to take a bite. "They do taste good, though."


	5. Candy Cane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not like Malik hasn't done this before; the day he discovered popsicles, for example, will live in Bakura's memory as one of the most torturous, and most pleasant, occasions of his life. But this is somehow different.

It's not like Malik hasn't done this before; the day he discovered popsicles, for example, will live in Bakura's memory as one of the most torturous, and most pleasant, occasions of his life. But this is somehow different.

Maybe it's because this time, he seems so unaware of what exactly he's doing. Curled up in front of the fire with his deck, the ever-present blanket (because Malik simply cannot retain heat in this weather), and that damned candy cane in his mouth, he doesn't appear to be aware of the outside world at all. He looks ...innocent.

It's the wrongest thing Bakura has ever seen, and he's a hair away from exploding with lust.

Then Malik sucks just a little harder on his sweet, and gives a little hum of happiness, and Bakura _pounces_. Cards go flying, and Malik hits the floor with a thud, biting the candy cane in half.  
"Finally," Malik says, grinning up at Bakura and licking his lips. "Thought I'd have to start doing a strip tease or something."

Bakura growls and bites at his mouth. Their kisses that night taste of peppermint and blood.


	6. The Nutcracker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Won't it be fun, Bakura-kun?" Yugi looks up at them both with wide eyes. Very wide eyes. Malik sometimes wonders if he's some kind of mutant, with eyes that large. They seem to take up half of his face. "And Anzu will be so happy that we all came to support her!" Malik blinks a couple times and rubs at his own eyes. He could swear that Yugi just _sparkled_.

"Won't it be fun, Bakura-kun?" Yugi looks up at them both with wide eyes. Very wide eyes. Malik sometimes wonders if he's some kind of mutant, with eyes that large. They seem to take up half of his face. "And Anzu will be so happy that we all came to support her!" Malik blinks a couple times and rubs at his own eyes. He could swear that Yugi just _sparkled_.

"Indeed," the Pharaoh says, leaning casually against a desk. "It would be a most appreciated gesture." Which, roughly translated, means "Agree with him or I eat your face."

Malik considers his options. On the one hand, the stupid Pharaoh isn't Pharaoh anymore and doesn't have the right to give orders to anybody, except Yugi who probably likes that sort of thing. On the other, Malik is very fond of breathing.

And judging by the look on Bakura's face, he's going through the exact same thought process, and if Malik doesn't speak up now, his stupid boyfriend is going to get himself killed. Again.

"Feh," Malik says. "What do we want with some fancy rich-people thing?" Bakura's eyes light up, and Malik stifles a sigh. Really, he doesn't know why he puts up with the predictable moron. "The girl probably doesn't want our support anyway."

"Now, Malik," Bakura purrs, and then Malik remembers why he still hangs around the bastard. "We shouldn't judge too quickly. Who knows, it may be a valuable experience. We ought to give it a chance."

"Whatever," Malik says. "I don't care." He slides off the desk he's perched on and heads to the classroom door.

Yugi follows him. "That was a kind thing you just did," he says quietly once they're in the hall.

"I didn't do it for you." Malik sneers and stalks off.


	7. Trimming the Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bakura lies sprawled on the living room rug, staring at the tree in blissful fascination. "Sooo shiiiny," he coos, and reaches up to bat at one of the ornaments. Ryou glances up to meet Malik's eyes and they share a knowing look. Yugi's gaze darts between them in puzzlement, and Ryou realizes that while his boyfriend might be very well acquainted with the evil-maim-and-destroy side of Ryou's yami, he has no idea that said yami can also be a complete spaz.

Bakura lies sprawled on the living room rug, staring at the tree in blissful fascination. "Sooo shiiiny," he coos, and reaches up to bat at one of the ornaments. Ryou glances up to meet Malik's eyes and they share a knowing look. Yugi's gaze darts between them in puzzlement, and Ryou realizes that while his boyfriend might be very well acquainted with the evil-maim-and-destroy side of Ryou's yami, he has no idea that said yami can also be a complete spaz.

"Still?" Ryou asks softly. It would be too much to hope that he's completely changed, but maybe having a friend will have calmed him down a bit.

"All the fucking time," Malik growls, and Ryou knows that tone intimately. It's mostly exasperation, but there's a hint of fondness there too. Bakura wouldn't be himself if he weren't being completely infuriating, after all. Then Malik smirks. "Sometimes think it'd be easier just to invest in gold body paint or something."

And there is a moment where Ryou doesn't get it, and then he _does_ and his hands fly up to cover his face because he knows he must be blushing horribly and oh god did he just squeak? "I hate you," he mumbles. "I hate you a lot." There's a _reason_ Malik and his yami get on so well, he remembers.

"Hate me?" Malik says. "That's not very nice. Yugi, Ryou's being mean to me." Ryou peeks through his eyes in time to see Malik give Yugi a fairly decent version of the kicked-puppy look.

Yugi just raises an eyebrow at him. "And?" He folds his arms across his chest.

Malik pouts. "I thought you didn't like that sort of thing."

"In this case, I'll make an exception," Yugi says. Then he grins, slowly, and Ryou gets the urge to hide behind the couch. "After all, if you tease him about it too much, I'll never get laid."

Ryou buries his face in a pillow and thinks he would very much like to die of embarrassment now. Malik cackles madly, and he can hear Yugi snickering too. He really wants to melt into the floor.

Yami sticks his head out of the kitchen, a streak of flour on his cheek. "Aibou? What on earth is going on?" He glances around the room. "And what happened to the thief?"

Ryou looks up, and forces himself not to smirk. "Malik drugged them." It's a petty sort of revenge, but effective. He thinks Bakura, if he were sober, would be proud.


	8. Holiday Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What the fuck?" Bakura says, staring at the television in horror. Malik, curled up next to him on the couch, shudders in agreement.

"What the fuck?" Bakura says, staring at the television in horror. Malik, curled up next to him on the couch, shudders in agreement.

"I don't believe I just saw that," he whispers and swallows hard. "It was just our imagination, right?"

"Right," Bakura says. "No god could possibly be cruel enough to make us live in a world where that was real." They stare at the television some more. "It was just a trick of the light or something."

"Right," Malik says. "We're just hallucinating things from exhaustion and not enough sex. That's all."

They stare some more. Suddenly, Dark Magician Girl appears on the screen, wearing a Santa hat and wielding a candy cane in place of her normal outfit. Baby Dragon poofs into existence next to her, wearing a wreath around it's neck. Tinny holiday music plays. The announcer's voice blares out of the speakers, "Next up! Don't miss...How Kuriboh Saved Christmas!"

Malik shrieks and Bakura sends the remote flying through the television screen.


	9. Ice Skating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Malik eyes the ice and the the skates strapped to his feet. Bakura smirks at him. "Stop stalling. It's perfectly simple. Even Ryou can do it."

Malik eyes the ice and the the skates strapped to his feet. Bakura smirks at him. "Stop stalling. It's perfectly simple. Even Ryou can do it."

"It's unnatural," Malik mutters. "And insane." He stands, and immediate grabs the back of the bench for balance.

"So are we," Bakura points out. Malik glares at him. Bakura sighs, rolls his eyes, and lightning-fast reaches out and drags Malik onto the ice. "Coward."

"Bastard," Malik retorts, and takes a shaky step forward. "You are going to owe me so much for this." He cautiously takes another step, and when he fails to fall, another.

"You'll have to catch me first, slowpoke," Bakura says, and darts off to the other side of the rink. Malik snarls, and gives chase.

"I told you it was easy," Bakura says when they're both slightly out of breath from five high-speed laps around the rink.

"You are such a bastard," Malik says. "I had better get some really good sex out of this." Behind him, he hears a choking noise. When he turns, he sees Yugi and Ryou, both blushing slightly. He turns back to Bakura. "Or else I'm leaving you for them." Then he runs like hell.


	10. Twas The Night Before Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We never did too much for Christmas," Yugi says, smiling softly up at his boyfriend and pulling the blanket closer around them both. The fire is putting off plenty of heat, but it's nice to have an excuse to cuddle. Ryou is much more relaxed about that sort of thing than he was, but he still isn't really used to being touched. "We had a tree and all, and Jii-chan would find me a new holiday puzzle every year, but that's about it."

"We never did too much for Christmas," Yugi says, smiling softly up at his boyfriend and pulling the blanket closer around them both. The fire is putting off plenty of heat, but it's nice to have an excuse to cuddle. Ryou is much more relaxed about that sort of thing than he was, but he still isn't really used to being touched. "We had a tree and all, and Jii-chan would find me a new holiday puzzle every year, but that's about it."

"My mother loved Christmas," Ryou says after a few seconds of silence. "After...we didn't celebrate it much, but before, she would decorate the whole house, sometimes starting in November. She was always singing carols, even in the middle of summer. And on Christmas Eve, she let us stay up until nearly midnight, and we would recite 'The Night Before Christmas' together before she put us to bed." He smiles, a little sadly, and Yugi wants to reach up and kiss all the sorrow right out of him. "We always left out carrots with the milk and cookies because Amane was worried that the reindeer would get too hungry from all the flying around."

"That was kind of her," Yugi says. He yawns widely and slouches a little against Ryou's side. "Mm, Ryou-chan, it's late. We should go to bed."

"All right," Ryou says, disentangling himself a bit reluctantly and leading the way upstairs. They're already in their pajamas, so Yugi crawls directly into bed while Ryou brushes his teeth. Yugi's bed is more than big enough for both of them, but more often than not he still finds himself sleeping alone. When Ryou walks into their room, highlighted by the moonlight from the open window so that he looks made of moonlight himself, Yugi finds himself hoping that tonight will be one of the rare nights Ryou can bear company.

Luck seems to be with him tonight, as Ryou doesn't even look at his own bed before going to perch on the edge of Yugi's. Yugi smiles at him and pulls back the covers in invitation. Ryou hesitates for a second before climbing in and wrapping his arms around Yugi in a loose embrace. "Good night," Yugi says.

"Good night," Ryou replies, and, so quickly Yugi can barely feel it, drops a light kiss on Yugi's forehead.

Yugi is still grinning when he finally falls asleep.


End file.
